i am constantly torn between the assertion that i am conducting my life to the best of my capabilities and am doing you know, relatively okay, to this really unsettling feeling i often carry that tells me i am seriously, seriously fucking up.
also, this is amanda (_boozendoom), except. y'know. new journal, for some reason coming back to LJ but deleting the old as a pathetic way to let go of some things in my past.
i wish my life had never let go of you you have no idea how you affected my life, darling