i miss seabass the cat so much.

i am constantly torn between the assertion that i am conducting my life to the best of my capabilities and am doing you know, relatively okay, to this really unsettling feeling i often carry that tells me i am seriously, seriously fucking up.

i picked a really good favorite band.


also today i lost my job!!! oops where'd it go. wait, i don't care. BUGABOO CREEK IS BULLSHIT.

today was the essay portion of my environmental geology final. upon completion, we handed in our finals and were allowed to look at our final paper and see how we fared. when i gave my name to the t.a., he looked at me and went, "stein. stein... he wants to see you!" as in my professor. and i freak, mildly, and ask if i did something wrong and he goes, "no no no, you did great!" and i get it back to wait for my professor to come back from talking to someone else and brief through my paper AND!:



he's a really good teacher. our conversation went well, i got to express how much i liked his class; as a very typical english major i struggle a lot with science and math classes, but the way professor olsen presented the material made it really comprehensible for me, and he said i completely understood the concepts based on my work and he was so impressed with my paper -- which was pretty fucking awesome, if i might be so bold.

in short: dood, i'm wicked fahking smaht!

also on tuesday i saw kevin devine, who makes my heart melt and i have missed very much because what scarce shows he has played in my area recently i have had to miss. i love him a lot, and i love that even though we aren't friends or even acquaintances and i am in no way insinuating that, he always remembers me at shows and finds me to say hello and give me a hug. he doesn't know my name or anything and that's fine with me. it's just as an unabashed nerd... it makes me smile a lot. and shows are so much better when you can drink at them. i think i'm really endearing when intoxicated.

good things! if only they were all we thought about, huh?

i feel that foreboding sense of dread as the bitter, evil cold descends upon us.
not even fractionally but exponentially. when did it become -- excuse me, PLUMMET to -- 9 degrees? fuck you, new england.
anyway, i wish it wasn't winter, or about to be. i wish the air didn't smell like snow.
it's just.. i always get so unreasonably sad as the weather gets brittle, and i feel so far away from everything, and especially everyone. i'd like that not to happen this year.
it'll be fine in 09, right?

Current Music: cold war kids